In this 80 second video clip from a John Gottman lecture, Dr. Gottman explains what he calls the magic ratio: Successful and happy couples are those who have a ratio of at least 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction.
My experience working with couples in my practice is that people are unsure how to recover from negative conflict. For instance, when our partners' feelings are hurt, the healthy thing to do is to make repairs immediately, such as apologizing or saying or doing anything that helps your partner recover from the hurt feelings. However, more often we respond to our partner with defensiveness, excuses, withdrawal, or more attacks.
Watching this video clip is a great way to learn what you need to do to keep your relationship alive!
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