This is a short essay and case example from the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. This essay describes differentiation and how an individual's level of differentiation affects the self, family, and community. They define differentiation as the ability to find a balance between our needs for connection and our needs for autonomy. They explain that the opposite of differentiation is called fusion. This is the merging of one's self with another person or group.
Here is a playful phrase I enjoy that sums up the process of fusion:
"When two become one, then there are none."
How does this relate to couples? My experience is that the lower the level of differentiation, couples are less able to tolerate their differences, cannot achieve true understanding, and do not enjoy the magnificence of healthy mutuality; the foundation of healthy relating.
This is a decent article, worth reading. Differentiation is invaluable!!!
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